The Ninjabot

True Blood Season Finale: Full Frontal Skarsgard

Posted on August 19, 2013 at 6:15 pm by Jess Hicks

All bad things must come to an end and after a very bland season of what used to be one of my favorite shows I was ready for it. The final episode wraps up, for the most part, the loose ends and gives a cliffhanger (well…two). So now would be the time to stop reading if you don’t want anything spoiled!

The Warlow/Sookie Conundrum:

This is probably the biggest ball drop of the season. After waiting years to finally find the guy who killed Sookie’s parents, this season was about to make this guy a super badass! Unfortunately it turned out he was just in love with Sookie and her parents were actually racist jerks. Not only was that a major let down, we also forgot about most of his story for the last several episodes. It’s like the writers were focused on other things that they barely had time to write his conclusion. Now that Sookie’s friends are saved she doesn’t want to marry Warlow after all (imagine that) but instead wants to date him. Warlow isn’t having that and decides to make Sookie his unwilling bride anyway. Of course. Bill has second thoughts and gathers the gang to save her, making way for a chase scene to Sookie’s house…well… bathroom. Right as Warlow is about to slaughter Sookie Great Grandpa Fairy bursts through the wormhole and holds Warlow while Jason stakes him. Yep. A character we haven’t seen for half the season saves the day without much effort at all. Lame. Lamey lame lame!

warlow dying

Are you F@%*ing kidding me!!!

Vampires Walk Among Us!

So last we saw the vampires they were magical and could walk in the daylight which is something the humans were sure to fear. It could have made an interesting story for next season, right? Wrong. Actually, because Warlow is no more the power of his blood has worn out. So not only has Bill lost Lillith but he, along with all the other vamps, lose the ability to walk in the daylight. I’m not really sure how that works considering the blood they ingested wasn’t apart of him when they drank it. My guess is they want to focus on the other supernatural creatures for next season and the whole “vamps in daylight” would take over. Now what happens? I suppose nothing really but the loss of this power does bring me to my first cliffhanger…

Sun walking

“Let’s like totally go play volleyball and wear bright colored clothes!”

Full Frontal Skarsgard:

We have seen much nudity from the females in this show but next to nothing from the men. So last night we visit Eric who flew away last episode to go sunbath and read atop a Sweedish mountain…totally….naked. It was then that the sound of many squealing fan boys and girls could be heard around the world. While this is something we have all been waiting for since…ever…it came with a price. Of course the ability to endure sun would wear off right at a time where Eric has no place to hide. Last we see of him he is almost totally engulfed in flames. You’ll remember several years ago we had a similar situation involving Bill being almost completely burnt to a crisp but he wasn’t in the middle of nowhere. The obvious conclusion is that Pam, who flew away early in the episode to find her maker, will arrive just in time to push him into a shady spot or cover him in snow. Then again, Pam would be suffering the same torture as Eric would be at the very same time. Also, wouldn’t Tara and Willa sense their makers were in trouble and try to help them? Oh wait…we don’t get to see their reaction because this happens….

Eric Sun bathing


Six Flipping Months Later!

Yep, we get to skip ahead even more! I assume this is because the writers were realizing how silly it is to have all of this crazy stuff happen in such a short time frame. Even with them skipping head before when Sookie was trapped in fairy land it still was a very small period of time. So in this six months Sam has become Mayor (the guy who hated being in the spotlight and had no previous interest in politics) of Bon Tomp, Arlene now owns Merlotte’s (okay?), and Sookie is now with Alcide (who finally did something with his hair!). Essentially the only thing that matters of these 3 things is Sam being the Mayor. Apparently the Hep V True Blood infected a lot of vampires and instead of killing them it has turned them into super killing machines. Sam’s plan is to have every human in town let a vampire feed off them in order to protect them. It ends with almost the entire town partying at the bar as a giant pack of crazy vamps descend on them.

sookie and alcide

Why is she dressed like an old lady?

I honestly can’t say I look forward to the next season but I will watch it because I’ve invested so much time in it already. I hope it can regain what it once had but I think it has just run it’s course. What did you guys think of the finale? Did it wrap up the way you wanted it to or would you have liked to see something else? Leave a comment below!

Grade: C-

You can follow Jess on Twitter @DangerJess_

    • Jennifer

      Totally agree w/your C- grade. The whole season was underwhelming, but like you, I’ll continue to watch. I’m not sure if its loyalty to the franchise, the books, or the already invested hours of bad TV, but I’ll watch again next season.

      • Jess

        Thanks! I would give the whole season a solid D and that saddens me b/c I used to really love the show.

    • Renee

      Totally disappointing this season. I will also watch it next year but only can hope they get it back on track quickly.

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