The Ninjabot

The Bontemps Bloodbath Begins – True Blood, “Jesus Gonna Come Here” Review [SPOILERS]

Posted on June 27, 2014 at 8:45 pm by Logan Boggs

First of all, let me reiterate: spoilers ARE ahead!

Sookie TB S7

HBO’s supernatural drama True Blood began its seventh and final season on Sunday, and things started out with a bang. Unfortunately, the episode did not maintain its momentum. Following the events of last season’s Hep-V debacle, infected vamps descended upon Bon Temps’ vampire/human mixer and eviscerated the majority of the town’s people and local supernatural citizens.

In a surprise twist, Tara, one of the show’s main characters, was killed while defending her mother from being drained by a Hep-V vampire. While Tara has not had the most fleshed-out character arc, I have still enjoyed her presence on the show. In my opinion, the characters on True Blood are usually self-indulgent and vapid (don’t even get me started on Sookie,) but Tara brought a sense of authenticity to the cast. I’m sorry to see her go because she was one of the few characters I actually like to watch. Hopefully she’s not actually dead; after all, we didn’t actually see her death on screen.

While all of this is going on, Pam’s in Morocco winning a game of vampire Russian roulette and trying to find Eric. Of course, she doesn’t. If you recall, season six ended with a very naked Eric literately baking in the sun. Hopefully he’s still alive too, because Eric, like Tara, is also one of the few True Blood characters that I actually like. Yes, he’s an asshole, but he knows it, and he’s okay with it.

In the aftermath of the mixer disaster, Jason announces that Holly, Arlene and Nicole have been taken hostage. Sam and Alcide quickly shift and run after the Hep-V vamps, but are not able to sniff them out. In the meantime, Jason and his hot vampire girlfriend, Violet, sweep the town for possible vampire nests, but instead, they have a brief altercation with some of the town’s bible-thumping vampire haters. Oh, and they finally have sex. It’s about time, Violet! Jason Stackhouse is awfully good looking, what were you waiting for?

Jason Stackhouse

I mean, really…

The kidnapped ladies are seen chained up in a dungeon-style room underneath Fangtasia. Why the authorities wouldn’t think to look there first, I’m not sure. It seems like a pretty obvious hiding place to me. There, Holly tries to keep Arlene in check, and a very pregnant Nicole fears that she can no longer feel her baby moving. Dopey town deputy, Kevin Ellis, is also there with them, and is unfortunately, the first item on the menu. They now realize they are going to be picked off one by one when their captors need to feed.

Back in Bon Temps, Jessica has offered her protection to Andy and his daughter after slaughtering the rest of his family (oops). Andy reluctantly leaves his remaining child, Adelaide, in Jessica’s care while he and Bill go to investigate an abandoned building where vamps have been known to nest. They don’t find any of the hostages, but they do stumble upon what looks to be a human slaughter house.

While they’re out, a stray infected vampire wonders onto Andy’s property after catching a whiff of Adelaide’s tasty fairy blood. They have a brief stand-off while the sun rises, but Adelaide ends up inviting Jessica in, and the random vampire has an unfortunate meeting with the sun. While inside, Jessica and Adelaide share a tension-filled moment, leaving viewers to question if there could be a new lesbian pairing.

Moreover, Jessica’s vamp camp boyfriend, James, is chosen to be Lafayette’s protector. While at Lafayette’s house, they smoke some pot, and James shares some majorly interesting life details. In season six, James was played by Luke Grimes. As you may have noticed, Nathan Parsons has taken over the role. It is being widely reported that Grimes left the series because of a gay story line between his character and Lafayette. So, their relationship is pretty much a given. Hopefully that’s not actually why Grimes left; that would just be shitty.

During all of this, Sookie continues to be completely irresponsible and reckless, of course. During last season’s six month fast forward, she and Alcide finally got together (I assume because they were running out of sexy Bon Temp residents she could date). She gets miffed after overhearing Alcide’s thoughts and runs off, even though she knows that her fairy blood makes her a prime target for a vampire attack. As Alcide repeatedly tries to call her, she tosses her phone in the woods. Shortly after, she happens to trip over an unnamed dead body.

Eventually, she makes her way home to Alcide, and they make up. The next day at church, Sookie is assaulted by the townspeople’s thoughts. As far as they’re concerned, the massacre was her fault; if she hadn’t been with so many vampires and/or other supernatural creatures, the carnage never would have happened. Sookie decides to stand up for herself and gives a pep talk, adamant that she only wants to help. After all, she knows vampires better that anyone else.

Overall, this episode was okay. There are a lot of directions that this season could go, and hopefully the writers keep things interesting. My expectations are fairly low though after last season. Anything will be better than that “Billith” fiasco.


“Jesus Gonna Come Here” — C

True Blood: Season 7 Episode 1, “Jesus Gonna Be Here” aired June 22nd, 2014 on HBO at 9pm.

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