The Ninjabot

The 5 Most Overrated Horror Movies

Posted on July 7, 2013 at 8:46 pm by Jason Byard

Horror movies don’t exactly get a lot of credit generally. But there’s an elite few that get way too much. Here’s what they are, and why they suck.

#5 Drag Me To Hell

Drag Me to Hell

Don’t act like you were disappointed by what was supposed to be Sam Raimi’s triumphant return to the horror genre. What could have been a great “person gets cursed” movie starts strong but slowly descends into just a series of gags and gross-outs. It gets tiresome really quick. Not to mention the mean-spirited ending. I mean, I love a good downbeat conclusion as much as the next guy, but, in this case, it comes off with all the cruel charm of a game of frog baseball.

#4 The Devil’s Rejects

The Devil's Rejects

Oh, Rob Zombie. The problem with all of his movies is that, once they’re concluded, you’re left feeling like you’ve just cheered on a rape. The misogyny is blatant and their sadism serves no broader narrative purpose other than the filmmaker seems to enjoy it for its own sake. And the Devil’s Rejects is the worst offender in Zombie’s oeuvre. Further, unlike other movie killers like Hannibal Lecter or Norman Bates, Zombie’s Firefly clan is so irredeemably vile that it’s all more the galling to be asked to root for them. After watching it you’re liable to find yourself concluding that the sole reason the movie was made was so that the director could show off his wife in an array of skimpy outfits.

#3 Burnt Offerings

Burnt Offerings

Who wouldn’t love seeing Bette Davis get killed? But even with that going for it, Burnt Offerings fails to deliver. And the reason is obvious…it’s boring. Monumentally, undeniably, anger-inducingly boring. A slow, meandering stroll through a standard haunted house yarn, where the most interesting characters (among them the always terminally awesome Burgess Meredith) are dispensed with early in the proceedings, leaving us with a lame family drama anchored by a wooden Oliver Reed. The only upshot is that by the time the end arrives you’ll probably be too disinterested to complain about what an obvious Psycho rip-off it was.

#2 The Omen

The Omen

For all it’s polish this movie is still what it always was: just another mid 1970’s Exorcist rip-off. A well acted, well-directed one, no question about that. But still. Even the undeniable acting prowess of Gregory Peck can’t save the stilted dialogue, in much the same way Jerry Goldsmith’s terrific score can’t imbue some scenes with the necessary level of seriousness. (Honestly, a monkey attack? Now that’s just silly). Even it’s much celebrated death scenes leave much to be desired. Don’t believe me? Well, I defy you not to laugh when David Warner’s head gets lopped off by that pane of glass.

#1 The Blair Witch Project

Blair Witch Project

Sure, when this came out in 1999 it was rightly lauded for its novelty and its unique use of the internet in service of its advertising campaign presaged the viral marketing we’ve come to know so well today. But, be honest, the film has just not held up well. The set pieces are hokey, the narrative is lame, and the characters (already pretty annoying the first time you see it) grate even more on the nerves with every subsequent viewing. And, honestly, what kind of ghost kills you by beating you over the head? I’m pretty sure some of the monsters on Scooby-Doo had better kill schemes than that.

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