The Ninjabot

Retro Reviews: Farscape, “Look at the Princess” Part 1

Posted on July 15, 2013 at 7:16 pm by Will Wells

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We continue with season 2 of Farscape in the three-parter “Look at the Princess”.  Part 1, subtitled “A Kiss is but a Kiss”, begins with John Crichton and Aeryn in John’s module discussing combat maneuvers.  John smells something special about Aeryn’s hair, and the two end up kissing – until Aeryn gets upset and leaves him in the lurch.  Chiana, who was observing, claims that Aeryn is afraid of her feelings for Crichton.

The relationship between John and Aeryn is quite unique to most TV relationships.  John and Aeryn had sex back in season 1, but according to Aeryn that was simply “recreation”.  Peacekeepers, she previously claimed, don’t do relationships.  But Aeryn isn’t a Peacekeeper anymore.  As an escaped prisoner, she has the freedom to get romantically involved with John.  However, she’s scared to do so.  She’s never had to open herself up like that before – and when another Peacekeeper tried to get her to do so once, long ago, she betrayed him for a promotion.  Aeryn is afraid of the perceived vulnerability that being in a relationship would expose her to, and thus lashes out at Crichton when he attempts to move their relationship from friends to something romantic.

Chiana suggests that Crichton try having a relationship with someone who lives in the moment (like her).  However, before John gets more than slightly tempted to take her up on her offer, there’s an emergency.  Turns out the nearby planet is threatening to blow them up.  Four hours of surrendering later, the natives believe that they aren’t Peacekeepers and are willing to let them resupply.  There’s a coronation going on, so the planet is at maximum security.  John goes to find Chiana so they can head down to the planet, and find her he does – riding D’Argo.  For some odd reason, the subtitles on my DVDs of Farscape are on by default (I have to specifically turn them off) and I had not done so yet when I rewatched this scene.  The subtitle actually reads, and I quote, “both yelling orgasmically” to describe the sounds that Chiana and D’Argo are making.  Just thought I’d share that.

D’Argo requests that Crichton doesn’t screw things up for him, and Crichton agrees since it’s nice to see someone having a good time on Moya for a chance.

On the planet, there seems to be an interesting local custom – place a drop of liquid on a stranger’s tongue and then kiss them.  If you enjoy the taste, then make out.  If not, try someone else.  Aeryn, who is now angry at Crichton for his brief flirtation with Chiana, says that this world is perfectly suited to Crichton’s sexual urges.

Crichton tries the drops

Nearby, a young man and a Scarran are discussing the man’s sister.  Apparently Crichton is the only man (on the planet?) that she hasn’t kissed yet.  The Scarran assures the man that his sister’s chemical compatibility has been irrevocably altered, and that this means the man will be the next king.

Elsewhere in the bar, Rigel is talking with a man about a Princess Katralla.  She’s the crown Princess, but if she can’t find a compatible mate, she can’t become Queen.  If she fails to find a mate, the crown instead goes to her brother, Prince Clavor (the man talking to the Scarran earlier).

Chiana informs D’Argo that the drops are used to determine genetic compatibility for producing children.  After using the drops and kissing, both Chiana and D’Argo react as if tasting something vile.  The worse the taste, the less compatible the couple, which makes sense considering that Chiana and D’Argo are different species (we won’t go into Jothee at the moment).

So, finally, we understand the significance of all the kissing that Crichton is enjoying.  The various women in the room are checking his genetic compatibility for having children.  That’s… just a bit creepy, actually, like presenting a blood test for genetic diseases on a first date.  Ick.

Since the episode has been a bit slow, Scorpius takes this moment to show up.  Zhaan, still on Moya, decides to Starburst to try to draw Scorpius off.  However, Scorpius is having none of it.  Clearly he wants to use those drops to check his genetic compatibility with Crichton.

Speaking of which, Princess Katralla and Crichton finally kiss.

A Kiss is just a Kiss

John observes that it tastes sweet (apparently for the first time that evening).  Guards are immediately called.  John initially assumes the worst, but it turns out they’re body guards.  For him.  He’s the only genetically compatible male they’ve found – so they want John to marry the Princess.  John observes that you’d have to live his life to fully “understand how frelling insane” that sounds.  If the Princess doesn’t marry by her birthday (in a few days) then the crown goes to Prince Clavor, so until then, John is in protective custody.

Meanwhile, Scorpius is sitting down for a drink with D’Argo.  Aside from D’Argo’s freak out, we don’t get to see much of it, but D’Argo does tell Crichton about it later.  Scorpius promises to let the rest of them go and not break Crichton’s brain if Crichton gives him the wormhole technology.  Rigel and D’Argo suggest that maybe John should marry the Princess.  That is, after all, a pretty good guarantee of protection from Scorpius.  Crichton, however, refuses to marry a woman he doesn’t love – a point he makes to Prince Clavor (who doesn’t believe him) and that he tries to explain to Princess Katralla.

That is, until the Empress (Katralla’s mom) invites Scorpus into the room.  Scorpius gives John a big ol hug.  My theory that Scorpius wants to try those drops gets some more evidence, and another dozen new John/Scorpy fanfictions are born.

Empress Novius lays it out for John: “My daughter or that abomination.  Choose.”  48 seconds later, John Crichton proposes marriage to Princess Katralla.  Yes, I timed it.

Continued in Part 2

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