The Ninjabot

Pokemon GO isn’t THAT fun.

Posted on July 11, 2016 at 11:09 am by Chris Teregis

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Unless you have been living under a rock for the last week or so, you are well aware that the Pokemon GO app has been released on Android and iOS. The streets are lined with people buried in their cell phones, dangerously avoiding their surroundings, and waiting for randomly generated Pokemon to show up on their screen so they can capture them and add them to their collection.

Here’s the thing folks: It isn’t fun.

There, I said it. It’s not. Walking around, staring at a map, and waiting to flick my thumb upwards doesn’t make a fun game. In fact, when you say that out loud, it doesn’t even sound like a game. It sounds like the same mindless nonsense cell phone app developers have been shoving down our throats for years, and that’s mainly because that’s exactly what it is.

There seems to be a growing trend with gamers nowadays, where they will defend a game into the dirt, provided they have a connection to the franchise. Just because it’s a Pokemon game, doesn’t mean it is a good game.

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Not good, but still more fun than Pokemon GO.

It’s perfectly fine to step out of the box, take a look at what’s going on, and realize that you aren’t really playing anything. Isn’t that what a game is? Something that you play? Where is the play? Don’t tell me it’s in the gym battles. Tapping incessantly onto your screen doesn’t diversify they playing mechanics, it’s just lazy and stupid.  What exactly is the point?  To wander around and wait for things to spawn so you can easily capture them?  Someone help me understand, please.  Right now I feel like people are just clinging to the IDEA of the game, rather than actually enjoying it.

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It’s really fun, I swear. I SWEEEAAAAR!!!!!!!!!

There is something to be said about the POTENTIAL of Pokemon GO to be a great game someday.  First of all, adding the ability to actually battle wild Pokemon is a no brainer.  Why this game was released without that feature is beyond me.  Also, adding PvP and allowing players to challenge each other, and actually use Pokemon specific attacks in a turn based forum would be a great start.  I’d go so far as to say that it might be cool to designate your home as a Pokecenter where you can select which Pokemon you are bringing out for the day might be a nice addition as well. However, as it stands right now, the game is lackluster at best, and I’m just so, so tired of people bumping into me trying to capture a Snorlax.

What do you think Pokemon GO could add to make it a truly great game?

Chris Teregis is a comedian/writer from Los Angeles.  Follow his unabashed cynicsm toward anything new on Twitter:  @christeregis

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