The Ninjabot

Cinema Slums: Manborg (2011)

Posted on September 28, 2013 at 6:46 pm by Adam Knabe

Welcome to another edition of Cinema Slums! Once again we will journey to the far corners of cinema! Strap in tight kiddies because this adventure is a real treat and a bit of a departure from the trash I have been peddling the past couple weeks.

Warning: There will be spoilers, but then again if you have not seen this movie yet then that is straight up Shenanigrams! Go buy it now!

-Hell wars!

-Shenanigrams!

-Z-grade Cinobites!

-Cinobites in love!

-Claymation!

-Man!

-Borg!

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Directed By:

Steven Kostanski

Also known for: A lot of Make-Up Effects work but don’t let that fool you! It takes a deft hand to make a movie this good bad!

Written by:

Jermey Gillespie and Steven Kostanski

Also known for: These boys helped write Father’s Day. Stay tuned for that one!

Cast:

Really? This movie is called Manborg. Let’s just say they all do an amazing job at bad acting. I can’t even tell who’s hardly working. I love it!

Manborg_04_FinalWeb_1400

A movie as good as this crazy poster!

The Plot:

In the first Hell War a solider witnesses his brother killed by the lord of Hell, Draculon. Before he can enact his revenge Draculon kills our helpless protagonist. Jump to the future where our hero wakes up in Mega Death City to find he has been turned into a being that is half man, half borg, and all hero! The world has been taken over by Draculon and his minions. Before Manborg can do anything about it he is quickly captured and imprisoned. While in prison he meets some unlikely friends in the form of a martial arts master named Number One Man, an Australian Billy Idol look alike named Justice, and Justice’s kick ass punk sister Mina. The gang is put into a death match arena where Manborg’s true power is discovered. A mad scientist named Doctor Scorpious, who works for Draculon, reveals he created Manborg to hopefully one day destroy Draculon and reverse the mistake he made when he opened a portal to hell which started the Hell Wars. The gang plan an escape and take on Draculon, his henchman the Baron, and an evil abomination called Shadow Mega. Manborg defeats Draculon by sacrificing himself and the rest of the gang charge off into battle to carry on the good fight in the name of family!

 Manborg-Main

The Breaks:

I cannot put into words the crazy amazing so bad it is good awesomeness of Manborg. Whoa! Whoa! Don’t get excited. You’re not off the the hook. I am still going blabber on like an idiot. I am just saying there really is nothing I can say that will do this justice as much as just going and watching it in all its crazy glory. This movie is silly and cheesy in all the good ways and any unintentional cheese or short comings only help enhance its overall appeal. It is supposed to be low rent balls to the wall insanity because it’s an homage to all those crazy 80’s video games and straight to VHS schlock that everyone enjoys to make fun of now. It even has a trailer after the credits for a fake movie called Bio-cop which I wish was a real thing because it looks amazing.

Manborg3

The work of Ray Harryhausen’s crazy stepson Ginny perhaps?

Manborg plays like an homage to shitty 80’s action films, scifi films, horror films, synthesizer music, and 8-bit video games. The mix of green screen, claymation, cheap Halloween masks, and silly gore just make the whack sensibilities of Manborg pop. Throw in a ridiculous plot involving a hell war, a Manborg, and the power of family and what’s not to love? Manborg is a fever dream concocted by a someone who got drunk and fell asleep watching the Scott Pilgrim movie while Slayer was blaring at full blast and then woke up and vomited this amazing piece of work into existence.

manborg

Manborg approves of this review.

Most of the laughs come from The Baron, who looks like a really shitty cousin of Pinhead, and his awkward crush and courting of prisoner Mina. That coupled with Manborg’s fish out of water reactions to things, Justice’s hot headed remarks, illiteracy, and use of such words as “Shenanigrams” had me rolling. Manborg shoots by at a brisk 70 minute pace with just the right amount of flash, silliness, and nostalgia. If you like crazy goofy action/horror/scifi schlock-fests then you will love this movie. It’s like getting tazed in the balls with a mouth full of skittles and Jolt cola while floating in a kiddie pool of He-man action figures. Available on Amazon here! You won’t regret it!

Manborg:  A!

 

 

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